Why do dog walkers/owners look so embarrassed when their pets attempt to shit in public?
Unless you too have your trousers down and are attempting to sully a public footpath - relax!
They are dogs.
This is what makes them unsuitable as full-time employees or as spouses for people.
Don't suddenly turn your attention to what's happening in the treetops above you.
Don't try and hide yourself behind a bush or tree trunk while your still obviously clinging to the lead.
Don't try to pull the dog away by dragging it by its leash mid-dilation.
Just fucking relax.
Let your dog relax too.
A kind of inverse logic applies here - the more you pull, the more determined that dog will become to exit every last pellet from it's southern-most orifice.
Also, the more you pull, the more likely the dog is to break into a kind of super-tense, robot-like swagger where it will lock it's hind legs, take ridiculously small steps and rock from side to side.
Hint : this only draws more attention to the fact that you choose to be seen in public with someone who cares not for refined airs and graces.
Let it go.
You know they have.
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